Kellen Winslow's Parking Lot Pocket Pool

Here's a way to tell you this might be a crazy Friday. NJ.com reported New York Jets tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. was arrested for synthetic marijuana in a Target parking lot. But the reason, the cops were called was due to him masturbating in his car with that being the reason a woman called the cops. Here is what the police report says via NJ.com 

As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account.

Winslow Jr. told the cops he got lost looking for a Boston Market, and somehow ended up in a Target parking lot which is weird. I am trying to figure out what happened here from Winslow Jr.

1.) Why are you going to Boston Market? Who actually eats at Boston Market? Like those are still popular among athletes. Am I doing it wrong?

2.) If you really need to masturbate in your car, why in the hell are you choosing a Target parking lot? I mean not that I am condoning a lewd act just saying there are much better places to jerk it than a Target parking lot.

3.) Why do you have two bottles of Vaseline in your car?  I mean if that's your lubricant, whatever but do you really need two of them dude? Maybe one is your lube and the other is for rashes and other shit. I do not know this whole thing is completely bizarre.

Any time Kellen Winslow Jr. is involved, we need this video.



Charlie.